We all make mistakes in the education of our children. Here is a list of 10 most common mistakes in upbringing that almost all families make.
- I’ll be very strict — in that way I’ll teach my kid to behave well.
If you are a very strict parent, your child will behave well, but only in your presence. As soon as you are away, your kid will try to break all the rules to see what will be if he … Each rule of behavior should be explained to the child, let him sometimes break the rules — it’s normal for kids, but explain each time what he did wrong.
- I don’t love you any more…
Never tell your child that you don’t love him. There are two types of kids. For some of them these words can become too bitter — they can either get scared to lose you or get offended and consider you’re a betrayer. But most often, children don’t believe such words. They will only realize that a threat or a lie is a way to achieve the goal. It’s a nice practice to tell your child that you don’t appreciate his actions, but all the same you love him.
«I love you but today you was too noisy at the playground».
- I will help my child in everything to make his childhood happy.
Your excessive parental control will deprive your kid of his own invaluable experience. It is even possible that the child will feel helpless and flawed due to the fact that he isn’t able to do the things his peers can. It will be much more effective if the child will learn to cope with his little problems all by himself. Just be ready to help … sometimes …
- My child is so independent… he can play for hours alone in the room…
Oh, that’s, certainly, nice… But don’t make one of the most common mistakes in upbringing — don’t leave your child without your interest in his activities. Sometimes, moms give their «independent» children excessive independence. If you don’t pay attention to what your child does — sooner or later he will start to make bad things just to attract your attention.
- I treat my child like an adult…
Well, of course, sometimes it’s nice to communicate with your child as if he is an equal and, for example, to talk to him about the family problems. But don’t overdo! Think whether your child really needs to know about all your problems. Such communication can be dangerous for the psyche of the child, especially if you are a single parent.
Moreover, your child interacts with other children, and, believe me, they often speak about what is going on in their families. So, before discussing any problems, think twice whether you want these problems become known in the kindergarten.
- I want my child to become…
Your child is not a means, by which you can realize your unfulfilled childhood dreams. He has his own hobbies and interests, he has other abilities, and most importantly he has other dreams.
- I rarely show affection to my child — I don’t want him to be spoiled.
Don’t be afraid to show your love to the child. Hug and kiss him as much as he is needs. Through your kindness, your child will understand that you really love him, and this will allow him to be more confident in himself and his abilities.
- Be consistent
The child should not depend on your mood. If you in good mood allow the kid things that normally he isn’t allow to do or in bad mood punish your child for the things he isn’t normally punished — that’s very dangerous. Such your mistake in upbringing can provoke nervous disorders and hysteria in your kid.
- I spend little time with my child, but he has everything he needs…
For the child your love and affection is much more important than a bunch of gifts. No gifts and toys will bring him happiness. He needs you more than all the best toys in the world.
- My child is well mannered; he will never get involved into bad company…
This is one of the most common mistakes in parenting. The education of your child will not keep him from being foolish. Don’t forget every day to pay attention to your child — at least half an hour a day, but be sure to play with him, ask him about his, tell him a bedtime story. If the child has attention deficit, he begins to look for new friends. Bad company may become a way to attract your attention.
Be a good parent. Don’t make mistakes in parenting — at least try not to do the above ones!